The Cabbage Patch

Where stupid things come for their holidays.

The Cabbage Patch is dead! Long live The Cabbage Patch!


Hello World.

We have moved!

That's right, The Cabbage Patch has found a new home, over on the service.

What does this mean for you? Well, not very much. All you have to do is update your bookmarks to the new address, and Bob's-your-uncle, you're done.

What does this mean for me? A whole lot. Wordpress is a much more powerful system, meaning I can bring you a better Patch than ever before, in a much easier and more timely fashion. Rejoice!

So what's the new address? Good question. It's

Simple, huh?

And in case you're wondering, all the old posts and comments have been moved to the new address. Some of them turned out a little mangled, but we can't have everything now, can we?

See you at the new site.

So cute, I couldn't resist.


Hello World.

Bugs is an orisinal game which, as those of you who follow such things would know, means two things. One, it's simple. And two, it's beautifully made.

In this one, you play as a little girl jumping around some bugs. The aim is to scare as many of them away without actually killing them. Fun, simple, and far too cute.

I feel less of a man already.


Why, Australia? Why?


Hello World.

The Triple J Hottest 100 has just been announced, and I hate to say it Australia, but I'm disappointed in you.

Of all the local and international acts that released songs last year, it was Bernard Fanning that you liked the most? Sure, Powderfinger (his real band) are great, but on his own Bernard Fanning is no more than a slightly-better-in-tune Ben Lee!

And speaking of Ben Lee, he was your second choice!? My, my. What has this country come to?

I must admit, however, that the remainder of the list was much better. I was especially pleased at the six (yes, six) Wolfmother songs that made it through.

For those of you who don't know, the Triple J Hottest 100 is the world's biggest listener-voted music poll. Around 600,000 people from around the world voted for their favourite songs from the past year, and the top 100 were compiled and announced live today on Triple J.

The Top Ten were:

10. Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand
9. Joker & The Thief - Wolfmother
8. O Yeah - End Of Fashion
7. My Doorbell - White Stripes
6. Mind's Eye - Wolfmother
5. Dare - Gorillaz
4. Best Of You - Foo Fighters
3. Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
2. Catch My Disease - Ben Lee
1. Wish You Well - Bernard Fanning

The rest of the list, along with photos and various other things can be found here.


Scorpion Queen finds King


Hello World.

This is a bizarre article if ever I've seen one.

Scorpion Queen finds King

January 26, 2006 - 12:24PM

Thailand's "Scorpion Queen" and "Centipede King" will tie the knot on Valentine's Day and then consummate their nuptials in a coffin, organisers of the wedding said.

Kanjana Kaetkeow, 36, who entered the Guinness Book of World Records in 2002 for spending 32 days in a glass cube with 3,400 scorpions, has agreed to marry Montri Siangwong, 29, a 2003 Guinness record holder for spending 28 days with 1,000 centipedes, said Somporn Naksuetrong, general manager of Ripley's World of Entertainment in Pattaya.

"The couple met and fell in love when they were touring together after winning their Guinness records," Somporn said.

The couple will marry in Pattaya, 90km east of Bangkok, on February 14. Eight other "special couples" have been selected to participate in the necronuptials, pursuing the theme Till Death Do Us Part.

Kanajan and Montri, at least, have spent creepier nights with less attractive bed partners, organisers noted.

Original article here.

Categories: ,

Chimpanzeethat, it's Ricky Gervais!


Hello World.

You probably know him from The Office or Extras (which Australia will hopefully be getting shortly on the ABC), but many of you may not know that Ricky Gervais also has "the world's number one podcast".

It's a weekly radio show hosted by Gervais, Steve Merchant (the other mastermind behind The Office), and Karl Pilkington (simultaneously the stupidest and funniest man alive).

The episodes can be downloaded directly from the website or by subscribing to the podcast. Full info is here.

Unfortunately the first few episodes are no longer available, but what is there is incredibly funny.

Categories: Audio, Funny

Hello World.

Ever wanted to visit New York City? Well now you can. Through your computer. Sort of.

Virtual NYC Tour is just what it claims, a virtual tour of New York City. Using a system of panoramic-style photos and an interactive map you can explore many of the different areas of New York as if you were there.

Only without the smell of urine.

Title taken from I Love N. Y. by Lazyboy.

Categories: ,

Never underestimate little old ladies.


Hello World.

This video is fairly self-explanatory, especially when you consider it's titled "Old Lady Pwns Mercedes Guy".

Categories: ,

You'll never find a Kreta game!


Hello World.

Sorry about the long unexplained absence. First there was Christmas, then New Year, then I went away on holiday. Sorry. But I'm back now, and the world is good again.

For my first post of the new year, I give you a fun little maze game. This one is called Kreta (thus the appalling pun in the title) and is set in the Ancient Greek Minotaur's Maze. It's quite complicated to explain, so make sure to read all the info within the game.


Merry Christmas and a happy explosion.


Hello World.

It's nearly Christmas time! *Yay!*

And so, on this day, the Eve of Christmas, I bestow upon the world the grand gift that is Christmas Attack!


Let's start a war. Start a nuclear war.


Hello World.

Ever wondered what it would be like to see George Bush and Tony Blair sing Electric Six's song Gay Bar? Well wonder no more!

Categories: ,

The [portable] Cabbage Patch


Hello World.

Yesterday, I got a Sony PSP. For free.

There are only three things I would like to say about the PSP:

  1. It's great.
  2. It's great.
  3. You cannot begin to imagine the greatness of it.

This thing is absolutely amazing. The games are PS2 standard, the video is akin to DVD quality, and you can surf the web on it (as long as you are within range of a wireless network).

Here are a couple of photos of this very website as viewed on the fantastic screen of the PSP (oooohhhh.... postmodern self-reflexivity, what will he think of next?). Marvel and be awed by the uber geek-chic.

The [portable] Cabbage Patch

The [portable] Cabbage Patch #2.


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  • From Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
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